Creating habits for a healthier you

What are your health goals

I was so happy to be invited to speak at St. Charles about a subject so close to my heart: developing healthy habits. Twenty years ago, I was overweight, had a poor diet, and could never motivate myself to exercise. Despite being deeply unhappy with my weight, it felt like I couldn't change it. I would spend entire weekends promising myself to go out for a run, but it never happened. Then, everything changed—I changed. Since then, I lost weight and, most importantly, have maintained the same weight for over twenty years. Drawing on both my personal experience and professional expertise, In the talk and in this article, I share in the talk, and this article, all of my strategies for developing and sustaining healthy habits

There’s no doubt about it, developing and mastering habits is the key to a healthier life. Whether you want to lose weight, start exercising, or give up certain vices, my five step roadmap to success can help get to where you want to be.

First though we need to know what we’re up against. Let’s take a look at why it’s hard to change our habits.

Why is change so hard?

If you’ve ever tried to develop a new habit then you’ll know that it takes time and effort to fully integrate it into your life. Old habits die hard for a reason – we are drawn to what’s comfortable and familiar. Forming and sticking with new healthier habits can be tough. But why is that and more importantly how can we overcome it? Whether you’re trying to break a smoking or eating habit, or exercise more, there are steps you can take to succeed.

So what is a habit, a habit is simply a set of actions or behaviours that we repeat. We’ve done them so many times, we do them without thinking, like brushing our teeth, or making our bed.

Some habits are easier to establish than others. It’s easier to develop habits that make us feel good as our neural circuitry’s wired to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. When we engage in something that makes us feel good, we get a hit of dopamine.

Whilst dopamine is one of the brain’s feel good chemicals, it’s primary role is motivation and the formation of habits. Dopamine is designed to make us feel good so we are motivated to do more of the same. It boosts our mood, and it’s this great feeling which motivates us to seek more of the same.

This predisposes us to value immediate rewards over future ones. After all we know that eating that cake or having that glass of wine is going to deliver on its promise and make us feel good, at least until the guilt kicks in. This makes it far too easy to opt for instant gratification over something that feels far off into the future. This can make those old habits hard to give up. The good news is that delayed gratification is a skill that can be learned. You see the amazing feeling you get when you accomplish something important to you, that’s also dopamine. So learning how to attach the reward to your longer term goals can help you to better control your impulses and make choices that are in your best interest long term. I’ll share how to do this later on.

Its also important to recognise that there’s comfort in the familiar. This makes us creatures of habit and it can be hard to break out of our routines, even knowing they aren’t good for us in the long term. But at the risk of repeating myself, the key to doing this is to keep repeating the new behaviour.

Hopefully this has helped you understand how your brain works so you can better navigate the challenges with more ease and most importantly, stop giving yourself a hard time. This is counter productive and will only keep you stuck in the viscous cycle.

Here’s a roadmap to help you do just that, helping you to establish habits for a healthier lifestyle.

Step 1 - Define your goals

To be successful at changing our habits, they must be based on goals that are important to us. We have to make the pain of giving something up worth the sacrifice. The more powerful your reasons for change, the easier it will be to stick to healthier habits. In this, you’ll be harnessing how dopamine works by attaching the reward to the longer term gains. And as the saying goes, when you know your why the how becomes easy.

When you set a goal, you also give yourself something to aim for, something to keep you motivated. This provides a sense of purpose and direction. Your goals become your aspirations, inspiring your transformation..

When setting goals, balance is key. Too hard and you’ll be setting yourself up for failure. Too easy and the results won’t inspire you to make the effort.

The goals should also reflect the effort you are willing to put in and how motivated you are. Whilst goals certainly motivate us it’s a two way street. We are more likely to succeed if we are realistic about our efforts. Taking time to reflect on your level of motivation will ensure the goals set are achievable.

When it comes to establishing new habits incremental change is what delivers long lasting transformation. So start with a few simple changes which you can then build on. If, for example, you have a weakness for chocolate it might not be realistic to cut this out from your diet altogether so the goal might be to reduce the amount you eat. Making small incremental changes will help create the foundation to build better habits going forward. It also won’t come as a total shock to the system.

Here are some other key tips when it comes to goals:

• Goals are just as much about the how as they are the why. There should be a plan in place - the actions and steps you’ll take to get to where you want to be.

• Set dates for when you want to achieve your goals. This will help to focus the mind.

• Check in with your goals each week to make sure you are making progress and reward yourself when you do. It’s so important to celebrate the effort you’ve put in. This way you’ll be attaching the dopamine to the habit.

• You'll increase your chances of sticking to your new habits if you keep the benefits in mind. Taking a few moments each day to reflect on your why will keep you focused and motivated.

Step 2 - Create the right mindset

Having set your goals the next step is to get into the right mindset. This will help create the conditions for success. Mindset is the attitude, beliefs and assumptions we have about the world, ourselves and our endeavours. So take a moment to consider your mindset to healthy eating.

When you think of the word diet what comes to mind? You might associate it with deprivation, of missing out. We tend to approach a diet, the same as giving up smoking or alcohol, with a mindset of restraint, focusing more on the things we’re giving up. And if this is our main focus, then of course we’re going to feel like we’re depriving ourselves. And this only makes us want it more. On the other hand, if we set our sights on what we hope to gain, we’ll be more motivated and inspired to make lasting change.

Focusing on the benefits will create a mindset will enable you to approach your new lifestyle goals in a completely different way. And by changing your perspective and focusing on the positive aspects of a healthy diet, you’ll increase your chances of lasting change.

Here is a great tip from the book Atomic Habits - to watch out for your beliefs you hold about yourself. If you view yourself as lazy and unfit you’re going to behave that way. You need to believe that you can be a fit and healthy person. So begin to form a new identify of who you are, based on your new habits. You become that person each and every time you repeat the new habit.

Checking in with your thoughts to make sure they align with your mindset is also vital. A few negative comments to yourself can easily undermine your efforts overtime. Watching out for these negative thoughts and reminding yourself of your reasons to change will help with focuse and motivated.

Also look out for the all or nothing mindset. Life can and will get in the way. It can be all too easy after a busy week at work to miss the gym or have social commitments which make it hard to stick to your diet. There are many temptations and distractions that can lead you astray, and it can be all too easy to give up after a slip-up or two. This is that time when, in a moment of weakness, you have that piece of cake after lunch and think, oh, well I’ve broke the diet now so I’m just going to eat what I want for the rest of the day. Remember that each and every moment is an opportunity to reset and start again. Don't wait for the next day or week.

Consistency is what’s important when it comes to forming lasting habits. You don't have to get it right each and every time but as long as you are consistent in your efforts, you will eventually see results. So next time you slip up, don't be discouraged, recommit to your goals in that very moment.

Our mindsets are so powerful and when you change your mindset, you will change your life.

Step 3 - Cultivate motivation and discipline

So having set our goals, created the right mindset, now comes the actual work. This is where discipline and motivation comes into play.

Motivation is what gives you the energy to pursue your goals. When motivation is high it’s as if nothing can get in your way. It’s gives you a laser sharp focus, all you see is the goal and how you are going to get there.

When the impetus for change is strong it becomes a powerful force so motivating that achieving your goal becomes inevitable. Emotions also serve as powerful motivators. I experienced this myself. In my twenties I was overweight and wanted to loose weight and get fit. Each week I failed to start dieting and exercise. Then my long term boyfriend broke up with me and it was like a switch went off. I become focused on becoming the “best version” of myself so I started running, going to the gym and dieting. I was so motivated and determined it was easy. Motivation is increased whenever you attach an emotion to an action.

However, to give you one of my favourite quotes on the subject “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing and that’s why we recommend doing it daily”. Fact is we don’t always have such an overwhelming motivation, or if we do it doesn’t last.

We naturally feel more motivated in the beginning but as we face challenges on the way it can very easily come and go. This is when we need to give our motivation a little hand.

First remind yourself that it isn’t easy to change habits and that challenges are expected. Accepting these as normal will stop you feeling discouraged.

This is also the time to connect to your goal by tapping into your why. This will help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. You can also use a visualisation exercise to boost your motivation.

The power of visualisation

Brain scan shows there’s only a nominal change in the brain when someone visualises an activity and when they’re actually doing it. This is why visualisation is such a powerful practice and used so widely in sports psychology and hypnotherapy of course.

For new habits, there are two ways that you can do this. Which one you empathise depends on whether you are motivated more by reward or fear. If motivated by reward, a short visualisation exercise where you imagine yourself in the future having achieved your goals can help reignite your motivation and connect to your goals. You can support this by reflecting on your why, your reasons for change. If motivated by fear, you can visualise all the negative consequences of continuing the old habit. According to the Neurobiologist Dr Huberman at Stanford University, trials indicates that whilst in the beginning visualising the reward is a powerful motivator. He goes on to explain that as we face more challenges, it’s focusing on the negative consequences of the old behaviour that increases our motivation more.

I like to cover all basis so why not practice both and see what works best for you. This in fact, is a very common technique that I use with my clients with great success. i get them to imagine themselves at a cross roads before being guided down these two paths. One representing success, the other failure. As the intended consequences of both unfold the client is then brought back to the crossroads to decide the path they want to take. I’ll also get them to bring up and use their emotions to strengthen their motivation and determination. This is something you can also replicate yourself by going into a relaxed state, visualising the two outcomes and then making a conscious decision to commit to your goals.

So motivation is the engine that drives us towards our goals but motivation alone is not enough. We also need discipline. Discipline is what allows us to persevere even when we're tired or faced with setbacks. Motivation may get us started but discipline is what keeps us going. The two work together, both vital for success.

You can think of discipline in two ways. First, and a common analogy is that of a muscle, something you strengthen by consistently doing the things you don’t want to do. This requires patience and perseverance to not give up.

Secondly, you can think of discipline as a finite resource to be protected. What often depletes this resource is the battle we have with ourselves as we fight our urges. Right now I have an urge to go surf the internet and look at the furniture sales currently on. But a practice I’ve found most helpful and that I’m using right now to stay writing this article is urge surfing.

Urges can feel like a wave, their intensity increasing until they becomes too powerful to resist. We often try to fight this urge, but this inner struggle only weakens our defences until we finally give in. Urge surfing however removes this struggle. Rather than entering a battle of wills with ourselves, we reserve that energy to ride it out instead. This is one of those practices that seem counterintuitive but really work. Think about it for a moment. How often are you successful at resisting the urge? Doesn't it just seem that the more you try to suppress it the more powerful it becomes. You’re caught in a battle in wills but against yourself which you’ll never win. So rather than turning away from the urge why not see what happens when you turn to it instead. The practice is a simple one but there are a couple of ways you can approach it. The first is where you simply imagine that you’re doing the very thing you’re trying to resist. Yes, counterintuitive I know but the moment I start to imagine I’m searching the internet for side tables it’s as if the urge goes away. I’m no longer entering a fight with myself, depleting the very resources I need to stay disciplined. The second approach is to tune into how it feels in the body and breathing through this. Anytime those tempting thoughts come we simply bring the attention back to the body and observe how the urge feels until it goes away. To start, I recommend this for less intense urges. You’ll find just one go will be enough for the urge to go. This will build confidence that the technique works. For more intense urges, it can take a few attempts but they will eventually goes away. They always do. This is why, for both techniques, rather than trying to make the urge go away, simply rest in the knowledge that it will subside.

Once again I recommend finding the one that works best for you, you can even combine them. Adding an affirmation like, “This too shall pass”, can also help strengthen resolve.

Step 4 - Harness your emotion

Emotions are a powerful motivator. They can drive us to achieve great things. When we're driven by positive emotions, we're more likely to stick to our goals and persevere through the challenges. On the other hand negative emotions can sabotage our best efforts. The key is to harness the power of our emotions and use them to our advantage.

Let’s look at how emotions might have a negative effect when it comes to what we eat. How often do you turn to food as a way to deal with your emotions. Very few of us eat because we are hungry. After a difficult day we turn to food as a reward. When we’re upset we turn to food to make us feel good. When we’re worried we turn to food to avoid facing the anxiety. We’re stressed so we mindlessly shovel food into our mouths without thinking (at least I used to before I learned how to develop proper coping mechanisms). We feel down so we eat to lift our mood. There’s almost an endless list of emotions; sadness, grief, boredom, restlessness, dissatisfaction that can trigger our vices.

This keeps us trapped in a viscous cycle. The emotions we’re trying to avoid, well they eventually come back. This time with a few more, all the guilt and disappointment that comes from the self recrimination.

If we want to break a habit we have to work out how to fulfil the need we’re really trying to satisfy. In his book, Atomic Habits James Clear states what’s behind most of our habits is the desire to change our internal state. That is to feel better. Quite simply, when we feel bad we'll seek out things to make us feel good. But by becoming aware and identifying what it is you really need you can find better ways to fulfil them.

In that moment you become aware of the urge to eat you can also become aware of any emotions behind it. You can then look to see if there are other ways to meet that emotional need.

As we become more aware of our emotions and learn to manage them in healthier ways, we can develop a more positive relationship with food or other vices- rather than escaping our feelings or trying to fulfil a need best done elsewhere.

The best way to break this cycle is to become mindful of it.

Harnessng the power of mindfulness

The first step is to become aware of your triggers and the emotions that lead you to eat. Once you are aware of these triggers, you can be more mindful of them in the future. More on this next but in the meanwhile take a moment to reflect on what emotions might be behind some of your less healthy choices and what triggers these?

Mindfulness can be a very powerful tool when it comes to both regulating our emotions and changing habits. Mindfulness in its most simplest form just mean being aware. We can’t change something if we don’t realise we’re doing it. This is especially true of habits given how deeply engrained they are. We do them unconsciously but mindfulness means we bring them into our conscious awareness.

Become aware of triggers

There are often internal and external cues that signals the start of any behaviour. For example, an external cue for the smoker might be seeing a packet of cigarettes, an internal one might be feeling stressed. Mindfulness, allows you to become aware of these cues. In that moment of awareness you can interrupt the behaviour and chose something else that better serves your goals. This might also be the point at which you want to connect to your why and do the visualisation exercise. The more compelling you've made your why the easier it will be to resist the urge. You might also choose to urge surf.

Working out why you eat can help you to spot your triggers so you can watch out for these cues and be better prepared. It can also provide valuable insight into your habits and other ways that you can fulfil the emotional driver. If for example you eat because you’re bored, this might be a sign that something is missing in your life and it’s time to find other interests or to take up a hobby. If you feel stressed, do some relaxation exercises or go for a walk.

Mindful eating also has many benefits, it can also help you to appreciate what you are eating as you notice the different flavours, textures. When you eat mindfully you also tend to eat slower and we’ll have given time for the summer goals that we’re full to kick in.

5 - Create the conditions for success

This has all been about your internal world but now it’s time to get down to the practicalities. Setting yourself up for success.

In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear states that a key principle is to make it as easy as possible to stick to the habit. I couldn’t relate more. I was most consistent exercising when the gym was on my route home from work. When I moved and had to go out of my way. I stopped going as much. My solution was to change to a multi-membership where I could use the gym close to my work. For healthy eating it’s to

It’s true that when faced with two options, it’s more likely we’ll choose the path of least resistance. So when it comes to setting up habits you must make it easier to put those new lifestyle changes in place whilst making the old habits harder and even better, impossible to maintain.

This does require some thought so doing an exercise to identify and remove the obstacles that makes adopting the new habit harder and also putting obstacles in the way of repeating the old behaviour harder is worthwhile.

It’s also important to not only expect obstacles but to plan for how you’ll overcome them. This way when they do happen you’re be perfectly placed to deal with them.

Habit reversal is another technique you can use to make it easier to switch your habits. This is where you establish a competing response to replace the old habit. For example you might have developed the habit of eating whilst watching the TV. One way around this is to replace the eating with a cup of tree or a healthy snack.

Tips for dieting

If you are wanting to lose weight coming up with healthy dinner and lunch ideas will support your new mindset. There are some amazing recipes ideas on line that you might find yourself actually excited to try new things.

Work out your diet plan.

When it comes to dieting there are three main levers you can pull:

• what you eat

• when you eat

• how much you eat.

What you eat

This is about the type of food you’re putting inside you and making sure that you’re eating the right balanced of right macro-nutrients; protein, carbs (includes vegetables) and fats. This is about cutting out or down those foods that are high in calories but offer no nutritional value. This includes simple carbs like white rice, bread and pasta and replacing these instead with complex carbohydrates including whole grains.

It can be hard to move directly to whole grains if you are not used to it consider mixing the two in the beginning. I used this trick and couldn’t tell the difference.

Another thing to keep in mind, is that we are highly adaptable and you will soon get used to the new ways of eating. So much so that you’d find it hard to go back to eating the way you used to. I personally don’t believe in denying yourself, it just makes you unhappy and want the thing more. Having a little of what you love might just be the way to go. This does require self control and some might find it easier to give things up completely. The key is finding what works best for you.

When you eat

This is time restricted feeding and the window of time available each day to eat. The basic principle being that if you have less time to eat you’re more likely to eat less as well. There are many types of fasting regimes out there and if this is something you’re interested in, the key is finding one that suits you and your lifestyle. I have been doing the 16/8 fast for a year now. This gives me an eight hour window to eat each day. I never ate breakfast so for me this was a relatively easy one. I say relatively easy because I really loved my morning coffees with three sugars. It was hard at first, but I kept going back to my reasons for doing it. I didn’t want to start my day anymore by spiking my blood sugar levels high with sugar. This helped me persevere and I soon got used to it.

If you are considering fasting but are used to eating at regular timeframes, one tip is to allow a period to transition to your new eating times. This is because of the hormone ghrelin, also known as the hungry hormone. If you’re used to eating at regular times each day and one day you eat later then normal or you skip a meal, you’re stomach will more than likely start grumbling and you’ll start feeling hunger pains. This is ghrelin being released, its conditioned to expect you to eat at certain times each day. By pushing back when you eat each day by 30 minutes you’ll retrain ghrelin to no longer be released.

Making sure you get enough sleep is also important. If we don’t, this can effect the hormones for hunger (ghrelin) and satiety (leptin) causing us to eat more.

How much you eat

Finally there’s reducing how much you eat, which puts the focus on portion control. This used to be my biggest problem with food. Dinner was and still is my favourite mealtime and I really would pile food on the plate. The idea of looking at a half full plate made me feel like I was depriving myself. I got around this by filling my plate with salad so the plate looked full. I now love salads and pretty much have it with everything.

Most importantly, don’t give up!

When trying to adopt a new habit, it is only natural that there will be some setbacks along the way or moments of doubt. The key is to not become discouraged or give up. Yes, habits are formed through repetition, but the key is being more consistent than not. You’re never going to do it perfectly all of the time. The more consistent you are, the more likely you’ll be to succeed. So remember to be patient - it takes time to form new habits and its about consistently showing up for yourself.

Habits are hard to break, but with the right mindset and tools in place, it’s not impossible. Make sure you set your goals that are achievable yet inspiring, put systems into place that make it easier for you to succeed (and harder to fail); and increase your motivation and discipline so you can power through when things get tough. This roadmap helps you do just that, enabling you to create lasting change in your life.

What good habit do you want to start working on today?